I’m just going to come out and say it: I freaking love the chicken parmigiana. I’m the furthest thing from fancy when it comes to food. What I mean is that there’s no way I’m paying $190 a head for a couple of pees on a bed of avocado gnocchi. Don’t get me wrong, I get it. I appreciate it. I venerate it as art in its purest form.

But I won’t do it.

For me, it just ain’t all that satisfying. Drop a plate of cheeseburgers, fried chicken and pepperoni pizzas in front of me and I’ll raise your room-with-a-view with a dollop of sizzling oils. Maybe it’s because my brain is wired with the voltage of a thousand tiny toddler versions of myself. Or maybe it’s because sometimes, I can be a real tight-ass. Whatever the case, I’d prefer a chicken parma any day of the work.

Let’s take a moment to appreciate the parma’s oozing goodness: breaded/crumbed chicken breast, topped with fresh tomato sauce and mozzarella cheese (NOTE: never – may I repeat – never add ham or bacon. This is a cardinal sin worthy of vilification). While the parmigiana is a Godly delight on its own, a side of well-seasoned chips/French fries compliments the meal like a culinary Starsky & Hutch.

Speaking of cardinal sins, have you ever been to a pub or restaurant and complained because the chef thought it was a great idea to smother the parma on a garbage-dump of hot chips?

No? Me neither…

Thankfully I don’t have that problem where I eat. Want to try the best chicken parmigiana in Melbourne? Check out The Secret in Epping. For the modest price of $25.90 and at a size that could give a giant stomach-cramps, not once have I ever sent a crumb of this masterpiece back to the kitchen for disposal.

Do you lick your lips at the thought of a delectable chicken parmigiana? Let me know where your favourite spots are in the comments below!